1. Roman Numerals...what are they good IV?
2. Relax, we're all crazy. It's not a competition.
3. Democrats and Republicans may not agree about politics, but they definitely agree about screwing you over.
4. Over the Internet, you can pretend to be anyone or anything. I'm amazed that so many people choose to be complete idiots.
5. Is it just me or is CSI just like Scooby Doo but for old people?
6. I'll bet if it ever really rained cats and dogs, Bob Barker would be pissed because who's gonna neuter them all?
7. I think Soulmate sounds like something Satan puts in his coffee.
8. That scary moment when you realize your arm or leg is hanging off your bed... then quickly bring it back in so the boogie man won't get you.
9. I thought that by 2013 we would have flying cars. Instead we have pocket catheters and Honey Boo Boo
10. I don’t think the guy who wrote the program that estimates how much time is left on a download did not take his job seriously at all.
11. I prefer older people on reality shows. A well-constructed putdown is
much more interesting than tearing weave out of someone's head.