Disclaimer: This blog is completely boring, and may include entries on when I last washed my dishes, how many pairs of shoes I own, and the occasional rant. I appreciate all the visits and comments you have left on my blog. It's very nice of you to take time out of your busy day to visit me...please come back again soon! If this is not what you're looking for. Move along. This is my little soapbox.

Friday, July 3, 2015

Estranged


Estranged:
adjective
1.
displaying or evincing a feeling of alienation; alienated.
Today would have been my sisters birthday.  She has been gone for a few years now.  We were estranged when she passed. 
She was mad at me.  I have no real clue as to why.  She would not take my calls.  I should have tried harder.  I have such guilt.

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

COPD rant and Class Reunion questions

I have COPD.. severe COPD.. 25% lung function.. and that was several years ago.. since it is a progressive disease my guess is now around 20% or less.  Think about that.. It is extremely hard for me to do the simplest of tasks. Taking a bath is exhausting.  Walking across the room is exhausting.. Take a second and imagine this .. yeah awful and don't I know it. 
I work really hard at being upbeat and have a good attitude. I figure what the heck this is better than the alternative right? I don't complain and only those that know me understand how hard my life is.. and still I have no complaints. 
I am for all practical purposes a shut in, I have not been out of this house since last August.. for real. And I can honestly say I am ok with it. I have wonderful family and friends who do so much for me.. from getting groceries to taking out my trash.. they are there for me.. I had to learn to ask for help.. (which I hate doing) 
But please don't tell me I can do something that I can't .. it just is like rubbing salt on a wound.. it forces me to come face to face with the facts of my life. And it hurts.  I cry and then I get over it till the next time. please stop.. 
Then in other unrelated news there is that damn Class Reunion coming up. They send letters, they call, they send another letter, they call again.  The ones that I have never had a conversation with, who were the popular kids, yep them. (I was the mouse in the corner in school)  I find this odd. Before graduation no one knew I existed and since no one knew, sooooooo Why do you suppose they are so keen on getting me to attend? 

Monday, June 1, 2015

My really really bad day


 So I wake up at around 3 am today .. wow can't breathe... wonder why.. then it dawns on my .. machine is not working NO O2 coming out.. grab the tank I keep for emergencies .. turn it on and catch my breath.. finally start down stairs.. holding heavy tank and the 50 ft cord from the machine... down about 4 steps .. stooopid safety on my stair lift stops me. cuss.. get up reset safety.. continue down.. all this time the machine is alarming .. loudly.. very loudly.. my ears are still ringing. turn it off.. wait.. turn it on .. success it works for about a quick minute and the boom off and alarming again.. checked cord for kinks. there are none... reset and try again.. same result. .. still not satisfied I try one more time.. same result .( You know what they call a person who does the same thing over and over and expects a different result?}. runs for a few and then alarms. around 3:30 AfreckinM I call emergency number for Lxxcxxx.. after pushing 1 for English.. yes .. 1 for English.. and a couple other number to get to a live person,  a very nice lady in Florida takes my info and puts me on hold.

Soon C**y comes on the phone.. Says do you have plenty of canisters? I answer that I do he whines well it will be around 7 before I can get there as I would have to go to the shop etc.. blah blah blah.. Use your canisters and I will see you first thing in the morning.. I ask what time is that .. he replies 9 or 10 am.. I must have gotten on the $hit list some how.. I am stressed to almost my limit and that of course makes breathing harder.. but not an emergency ....this hard to believe.... I am not happy to say the least.
It is now almost 7 am.. and I am making a list of things to do today..
1. Find new oxygen supplier
2. Find out what constitutes an emergency
3. Nap

Friday, May 22, 2015

Sunday, April 12, 2015

Thankful


Today, upon a bus, I saw a very beautiful woman
and wished I were as beautiful.
When suddenly she rose to leave,
I saw her hobble down the aisle.
She had one leg and used a crutch.
But as she passed, she passed a smile.
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.
I have two legs; the world is mine.

I stopped to buy some candy.
The lad who sold it had such charm.
I talked with him, he seemed so glad.
If I were late, it'd do no harm.
And as I left, he said to me,
"I thank you, you've been so kind.
It's nice to talk with folks like you.
You see," he said, "I'm blind."
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.
I have two eyes; the world is mine.

Later while walking down the street,
I saw a child I knew.
He stood and watched the others play,
but he did not know what to do.
I stopped a moment and then I said,
Why don't you join them dear?"
He looked ahead without a word.
I forgot, he couldn't hear.
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.
I have two ears; the world is mine.

With feet to take me where I'd go..
With eyes to see the sunset's glow.
With ears to hear what I'd know.
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.
I've been blessed indeed, the world is mine.

After all, it's just a simple reminder that we have so much to be thankful for!
Give the gift of love. It never comes back empty!
I have been truly blessed with AWESOME FRIENDS.